you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I have aggressive nipples.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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