I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
