At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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