I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
