thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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