i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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