How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
