Your tits are I can't wait for
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
