Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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