Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
