So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
