I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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