a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you win again, gameday.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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