So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
