plz talk dirty to me
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
