Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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