currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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