Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
