I saw his package. It spoke to me.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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