how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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