you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
