Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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