Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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