ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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