i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
