Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
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