I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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