Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
