Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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