so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
me + whiskey = a bad person
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
