Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
