Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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