Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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