they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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