She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
