Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
