She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize