So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
