SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
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Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
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I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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