Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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