You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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