dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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