living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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