i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Dick very happy bro
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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