hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
