So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
