My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize