ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
