How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
