how hairy? two words: wookie tits
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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