cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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