So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
