she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize