We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You ruined the universe
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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