he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
