dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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