In the future we'll all be gay
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm drive I can fine osifer
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Randomize
