So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
