im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
