So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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