Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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