It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
